The first time we saw each other the morning of our wedding. I call this “two cats who think they just might like each other.”
Reading time: 2 minutes

Today is Kyle’s and my 15th wedding anniversary. When we got married, I had no idea how being married would change me. Nobody ever does, do they? I’ve learned a lot about love over the past 15 years, and a lot about commitment. I’ve grown a lot, staying committed to and loving one person for so many years.

Love is Kyle going camping with me, even though he’s baffled by how anyone would deliberately go into the woods and sleep out on the ground where there are wild animals that could devour you.

Love is me continually learning about Kyle’s experience as a black man, about the lives of his family, and about what it means to be white.

Love is me being Kyle’s Seeing-Eye Wife, helping him navigate unfamiliar places, reading things that are too small or too far away for him to see, tightening the little screws on his glasses.

Love is having the courage to talk frankly about money.

Love is Kyle comforting me when my father died, and when my friend Lily died.

Love is each of us growing to love each others’ families.

Love is developing a kind of stamina, a durability, in how we keep our relationship going as it matures and changes.

Love is when I was in horrible pain and barely mobile from an impinged S-1 nerve, and Kyle watched me while I took showers, to make sure I’d be safe.

Love is highly introverted Kyle, realizing he enjoys game nights.

Love is me learning to put up with untidiness, and Kyle agreeing to have a housecleaner come in once a month.

Love is Kyle wishing like hell I wouldn’t be so hard on myself.

Love is comforting each other when a beloved cat dies.

Love is learning to wait it out until you can work it out.

Love is the shared jokes that are still funny after all these years.

Happy anniversary, handsome husband! I love you even more than I did when we got married. Here’s to the next 15 years.

 

Photo credit: © 2002 by Debra Gerth.

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